Wednesday, October 17, 2018


It's no secret that I come from a broken family. I believe one of the things that hugely affects how we are as adults is how we were in our childhood. Experts say that kids who grew up in a complete and loving family become emotionally stronger than kids from broken homes. Experts also say that the time when a child is born until the kid reaches 5 years old are the most crucial years for a kid to be able to develop in all areas.

But are those statements really true? 

Just to be sure that I don't have distorted or biased belief as to what a broken family is, I asked Google and this is the answer I got :

With that, would it be safe to consider those people whose either of the parents is working abroad, whose Mother or Father may have passed away early, people whose parents are still together in marriage but are separated by time and/or distance? Would you agree with me that children from those homes may also suffer from the negative effects of not having both the parents around?



My parents were never married because my father had an ongoing petition for the United States of America where his parents and his siblings were already residing at when he met my Mother. My parents had me but my father didn't marry my Mom so he could pursue his American dream. The same year I was born, my father finally got his petition approved and flew to the US. My young Mother and I were left here in the Philippines. I am not particularly sure what promises, settlements, arguments or misunderstandings my parents had but him flying to the US eventually led to separation. He met someone else only few years after he got there and then he had two new kids. My Mother never got married again... I know my Mom tried her best to provide for me. I was young but I clearly remember how she left me to my Lolo and to my Tita for a few years so she could work and eventually send me to a decent private school. My Mom and I had a good relationship when I was still a child. When I was in grade 2, she took me back and we lived together. She would cook for me in the morning, prepare my food and then wake me up. Our life was simple. My father never provided any monetary support so it was all my Mom who did the financial work and the looking-after part. My father gave no part be it financially nor emotionally. Gladly, his parents (my grandparents) tried to fill in the spots my father failed to provide.  Life was simple but it was difficult. We rented small room-for-rents around Project 8. I became independent early on and had to learn how to cook rice and commute to school alone as early as grade 3 or 4. Dinner foods were simple, Christmases were't extravagant, clothes weren't branded, TV was neither colored. I was growing up. One can only do so much, especially when alone. I was needing affection, security, assurance, attention, support and most above all, love. I know my Mom wanted to be able to provide me all I would ever need. I know she suffered much and sacrificed a lot just so she could raise me alone. I finally grew up, well maybe not literally grow-up but I did get older. Now that I am an adult and difficulties, disappointments and struggles come my way. I couldn't help but wonder maybe life would be difficult if I come from a complete and loving family. Maybe I won't be like this... Maybe I won't be like that...

Here is my list of ways how I was affected because I come from a broken family.

9 NEGATIVE Effects of Broken Family to Children :
  1. Feeling of guilt and shame
  2. Feel insecure and have low self confidence
  3. Become shy, introvert and anti-social
  4. Develop feeling of anxiety and distrust
  5. Become emotional
  6. Feel envious / jealous towards others
  7. Some become rebellious
  8. Tend to experience poverty
  9. Feel unloved and unwanted

While there are no perfect nor wrong ways to describe how greatly one gets affected when a family crumbles, the things I listed above are just some of the things I personally experienced and some things I have observed on people I know who also come from broken homes. While coming from a broken home does not necessarily mean one is also emotionally broken, but it helps to know how someone could possibly be affected by his/her family background. It will help you understand why someone who comes from a broken home acts, talks and thinks the way he/she does. It will also help you become more considerate and understanding of their situation.

Of course, not everything has to be gloomy or dramatic. Now that I am older and mature, I have come to realize that there are actually positive effects of a broken home to someone. Though it also does not necessarily mean that only people who come from separated parents will develop these characters.

POSITIVE Effects of Broken Family to Children :
  1. They become emotionally strong.
  2. They are trained how to be independent.
  3. They remain humble and grateful.
  4. They are highly appreciative of anything.
  5. They become loving and loyal people.
  6. They develop strong desire to build their own happy family.

I couldn't count just how many times I wished my parents were never separated. Or how many times I imagined how my life would have been different if I come from a complete family and a happy home. Maybe I won't be super emotional and clingy. Maybe I would be more open-minded about things and would be extremely confident about myself no matter what struggle I face. Maybe I wouldn't know how it is to live life paycheck-to-paycheck. Maybe I wouldn't have to stop and stare at complete families I see at malls or churches and envy the kids. 

But then again, life is not meant to be lived in the past full of regrets or in the future filled with hopes. Rather it is meant to be lived in the PRESENT. I can not go back and force my father to stay. Nor could I fast-forward life so I won't have to suffer. Everything happens for a reason. I know that the struggles my Mother and I encountered when I was young have all helped me shape and mold the woman that I am today.

Maybe not perfect. But I am proud to say that I have faced trials, struggles and disappointments and have successfully overcome them. So can YOU or someone you may know who also come from a broken home. Life is hard but it is also short. With that, let me leave you with the quote that I have come up while preparing for this vlog topic :
The best revenge is to be HAPPY! You only have ONE life. You can choose to live all your life being bitter and unforgiving. OR you can choose to live your life, forgive and be HAPPY.

 I really hope you learned something, or at least felt something, from my life story. This is just PART 1 of my DEPRESSION series on YouTube. I plan to make this a complete series where I talk about all the struggles and disappointments I encountered and how I faced them. I plan to take my YouTube channel to a path where people don't watch it when they're bored. Rather, I want people to start watching my videos when they are feeling something and don't have anyone to talk to. More than anything, I really want to be an inspiration to others. Please help me by subscribing to my YouTube channel HERE.

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